© S. Ingraham and lightshedder.com
I see meditation as only one of four interlocking disciplines.
1. Meditation: learning to shut down (put off) the old man so that you can experience the new man you are in Christ. Learning, through repeated experience, who you are in Christ so that you can be that in daily life.
2. Recollection: remembering who you are in all your daily activities. Learning to consistently act and react out of the new self (Christ in you), not the old.
3. Corporate Worship/fellowship: experiencing, celebrating, our union as believers in the one body of Christ, our new self in Christ, in which we are one element, one organ, one atom in a shared body...a shared life (which is the essential other side of Christ in us).
4. Service: putting the new self to work in the body of Christ and the world so that it can grow and grow strong.
It can not be said often enough, or strongly enough, that meditative prayer is only a tool...a technique which is useful to some at a particular stage of their growth in Christ. It is never an end in itself...nor is it a magic formula that will instantly or automatically produce an intimacy with God or any kind of guaranteed life-change. Also, in my attempts to teach the 4 disciplines to others, I have found that they are practically without meaning to those who have not already experienced (and consciously identified) their union with God in Christ. We must always remember that Christian Meditation is an attempt to experience something that already is. We do not attemt to produce or purchase union with God by our own efforts, but to experience the union that was already fully paid for in the blood of Christ; already fully accomplished in the death and resurrection of the Son of God; already granted to us in its fullness in the gift of the Holy Spirit, in our rebirth in Christ.
Then too, over the past two years I have learned just how easy meditation is compared to the other three disciplines. I am firmly convinced that meditation without the other three disciplines is...not exactly useless...but close to it. The hardest discipline on a personal level (or perhaps it is just the one I am currently having the most struggle with) is "recollectedness"...simply remembering who I am in Christ and acting out of the new self instead of the old. Corporate worship is easy, given a group of others who are of the same spirit...finding that group, so far, has proved difficult. I know as yet so little of actual new self service that I hesitate to say anything at all about it.
That said...if it is of any help, here is the technique of meditation that I use.
First, you must have time to do this: set aside a time each day when you are going to meditate...without doubt the best time is right after you get up in the morning. You will need at least 15 minutes. 30 is better. Don't worry if you miss a day once in a while...remember this is just a tool...not an end in itself.
1. Get comfortable (for me this means sitting cross-legged with my back supported by a wall). Posture counts. It is easier to meditate if your spine is straight so that your skeleton is supporting your weight, not your muscles...in fact, there is the key...adopt a position in which the bones of your body support all weight and the muscles can be relaxed. I think of my skeleton as the cross on which my flesh is crucified...I hang on it. Pay attention to the position of your head. It should be upright,balanced, supported by the column of the neck. Lying down is not a good idea as the pressure on the veins and arteries at the back of the head and the general redistribution of body fluids sends I am sleeping signals to the brain which are very hard to override. On your knees on a cushion is comfortable for some. Standing works fine once you are used to it. If you can find a chair that keeps your spine straight and does not cut off circulation to the legs, that will work also (but be careful not to fall asleep.)
2. Close your eyes and take 3 or 4 deep cleansing breaths. Draw in deeply, hold the breath for a heart beat, and then release it slowly. As the air goes out, as your lungs deflate,let your whole body deflate...relax all muscles under your conscious control...let go! With each breath, let the relaxation go deeper until you are literally hanging on your bones. Each breath gets slower also...the intake is deeper and so is the release. Pay special attention to the muscles across your shoulders, your neck, and your hands (you will quickly learn where the tension is stored in your own body...I am stiff necked holding myself habitually in a posture of defense (and not even the correct defense posture at that), so I have to work hard on relaxing my shoulders and neck.)
3. As you are doing the breaths, pay some attention to the light behind your closed eyes. There is an interior light that we see ("if your eye is full of light then so is your whole body"...as Jesus said). As the tension leaves your body with the breath, let that light fill your head...when you get good at this, it will fill your whole body. (For a fuller exposition of this see This Little Light of Mine.)
4. Along about the second breath you will find the language centers in your brain clamoring for attention...give them something to keep them busy. Sing a silent chorus, repeat the names of God...mighty counselor, prince of peace, holy God, Father...say over a scripture that is particularly apt ("I am crucified with Christ..." "I lay my body as offering on the altar of God as my reasonable sacrifice, so that I may be transformed by a renewing of my mind..." etc.) or a psalm of comfort or love. Repeat to yourself the personal truths that God has shown you...(I often say, "You are my life, in you I have my breath and being. You are my Father... or ...Spirit of the living God, spirit of sonship, of childhood, in Jesus Christ, our spirit, rise up in me." etc. What you say will depend on how God has taught you in Christ). In addition to keeping your language centers busy, the verses, etc., will help to focus your mind (spirit) on God.
5. After the third or fourth breath you should be fairly relaxed, aware of the light within, and somewhat focused on God. You are now ready to begin!
6. Consciously reach after what you remember of your best experience of the presence of God. What feelings, what physical sensations, what thoughts, do you associate with God's presence. (The first week or so of meditation may be devoted to sorting out those feelings and sensations...actively remembering your experiences of God's presence and asking/trusting God to show you what is unique in them.) Don't try to generate those feelings, etc. but open yourself to them...will them to come...let them come..."Spirit of the living God, sweep over my soul! Spirit of the living God rise up in me!" When you feel a tingle of the spirit in you...however it is manifest...feed it...free it...give it gentle attention and watch it grow. Identify with it. "Yes, that's me, my new self, me in Christ, I see me, grow, be, me...this is my I am...the I am of God in Christ...that's me!" Some of the feelings and sensations seem to be common to many people's experience of the presence of God. As above, the feeling/sensation of being filled with light. The feeling of being wrapped in the arms of Jesus...snuggled...hugged...embraced by the love of God in a very physical way...a feeling of warmth and security. The feeling of freedom...of the dissolving of boundaries...the sensation that the light within and the light that is God flow endlessly into one another ...merge...are one. Sometimes there is an almost physical sensation of the top of your head dissolving. You might experience an incredible feeling of well-being...a this is right!ness. Or in might come to you as the interior smile...the feeling, whether or not you really are...that you are smiling. Then there is sometimes an overwhelming feeling of sin, of inadequacy, and an equally overwhelming experience of forgiveness, acceptance...of the burden falling or being lifted away. There is sometimes a burst of compassion...a touch of the pain that God feels at sin and the willful separation of his children from him...that literally rends your heart. There may be a cleansing flow of tears...or the feeling that comes when the tears are past.
It is important to realize that only the spirit of Christ in you can respond to the Father's presence. When you are aware of the presence of God, you are experiencing your new self in Christ. When God is there, if you look at yourself, you will see the new man, Christ in you. In fact, it is safe to say that the only time we are really ourselves, the selves we are intended to be in Christ the Son, is at those times when we are most aware of the presence of our Father God.
7. As you reach, other thoughts will claim your attention. You will find yourself thinking about something quite different from the presence of God. It may be something you have to do that day, something you should have done yesterday, some worry about what will happen in your job or a relationship...or it may be a sudden flash of a person's face, perhaps even someone you have little or nothing to do with. When this happens (and it will), ask "Father, why am I thinking this?" Assume that the thought comes from the spirit and that you need to deal with it. Turn the thought into a prayer. If it is something that you must do...don't spend a lot of time dwelling on how you will do it...simply turn it to God. "Father, I need to do this...help me...be my strength and wisdom...be strong and wise in me." Or sometimes it is... "Yes Father, I see my sin...forgive me! What can I do, what can we do, to make it right?" If an insight comes...if a way of doing what needs doing comes to mind, say, "Thank you!" and get back to seeking the presence of the new man in you...don't chase the thought down, or try to turn it into a plan. Trust that God will elaborate on it as necessary, when necessary. Sometimes you will find yourself returning to the same thought anyway. Say, "Ah, Father, there it is again. Is there something more?" If you don't know why the thought is there (this happens often with flashes of people) simply say, "Yes Father, I see. What shall I pray for that one, my brother, my sister..." and pray as the spirit suggests. Always remind yourself what you are doing there...seeking the presence of God (which is the same as saying seeking your new self in Christ) and return to the task.
8. When you find yourself feeling distracted, making no progress toward the presence of God, that is a good time to check your body for tension or bad posture. It is a good time to deepen your relaxation with a few more cleansing breaths. Be sure the flesh is crucified on the cross of bones. It is especially easy to slump forward so that your spine is curved...or you may have dropped your head so that your neck and shoulder muscles are supporting the weight. You may have to move...flex your neck...tighten a muscle and release it, reposition your hand...whatever. Then return to the task.
There are certain physical indicators that you can use to check the depth of your relaxation. One is the breath and breathing pattern. As you progress, you will find your breathing getting slower and deeper...falling into an easy natural rhythm which I call the baby breath. You may already have experienced it when you hovered right on the edge of sleep...still aware of your surroundings, but deeply relaxed...and if you have children, it is the rhythm of natural infant sleep. The second indicator is the heart beat. In light relaxation, you can feel your heart beat. As relaxation deepens you will be able to feel the beat of your heart throughout your body...you will be able to feel each pulse to the very tips of your fingers and toes. Actual muscle tension is a third indicator, but it can be hard, especially at first, to gauge. We are so used to carrying a lot of tension that we no longer know what it feels like to be relaxed. You often won't feel the tension in a muscle until you make a conscious effort to let it go.
Certain forms of meditation teach you to concentrate on these physical aspects of relaxation. That is not what I am suggesting. You take note of your breathing, heart beat, and muscle tension as needed,generally at those moments when you are shifting from active prayer to reaching for the presence of God, or returning from a moment of distraction.
Then too, there are certain forms of meditation, especially traditional Christian mysticism, that teach you that in relaxing you are cutting off or shutting off the senses...turning inward toward silence and stillness, eliminating outside distractions, putting the body and its desires to sleep or to death. That is not my experience. The relaxation that I am striving for is more akin to balance than it is to sleep. It is being truly alive and has no element of death in it. It is similar to the relaxed stance that athletes train for...a state of resting readiness for whatever comes. It is more a state of heightened awareness than it is of sleep. I never hear the birds sing more clearly than in the middle of my meditation. Far from turning inward, I feel my intimate connection to every living thing around me...starting with the other members of Christ's body, my brothers and sisters in Christ...and moving outward to the very fringes of the living universe.
The relaxation portion of meditation is a means of "putting off the old man...offering ourselves on the altar of God as a living sacrifice." The old man is stored in the flesh...programmed into our minds and bodies by years of living and learning as though we were separate from God...inherited, at least in part, from all the generations of those who lived as though they were separate from God, going all the way back to Adam...and reinforced constantly by a world built on the lie of separation. Even after we come to know God in Christ, it is still, to a large extent, those habits and patterns, the old man, that controls our bodies and our actions. When we meditate, we are letting go of our bodies...breaking the connection between those patterns and habits and the body...so that our bodies are set free to do the will of God. "Once we offered the parts of our bodies to sin as instruments of wickedness..."; now we "offer ourselves to God, as those who have brought from death to life, and the parts of our bodies to him as instruments of righteousness."
9. When you find yourself idling round and round the same thought, closed in with yourself, the eye of your spirit dimmed, circling in the darkness of self, aware only of your distance from God...you have very likely lost your focus. Sing another chorus. Recite some scripture. Turn your eyes to Jesus. Don't just accept God's absence...it is a lie...he is there...you know it! Open yourself back up and turn to him! Return to the task! In this type of prayer/meditation there are no distractions. You may feel distracted...but that is because you are forgetting to turn whatever is distracting you into prayer. Use every thought that comes to carry you closer to his presence.
You should also pay attention to the forms of address you are using when you speak to God and Christ. Your new self stands in a Father/Son relationship to God. Call him Father...call him Daddy. He is still the creator of the universe...the mighty God...but he is your Dad. Christ is not only your savior and your lord...he is now your very self. There is never any question of asking God or Christ to do something for us, as though they were separate from ourselves...external powers we can manipulate through prayer. It is always what are "we" going to do about it...what am "I" going to do, not what "you" are going to do. The Holy Spirit is "our spirit," ultimately "my spirit," scary as that may sound. Trust our Father God that if you are in the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is in you, you will be safe from the kind of error such statements might otherwise suggest. Guard your tongue, so that it does not put God and Christ out there somewhere...so that you do not fall into the habit of reinforcing the illusion of separation by the words you use.
Obviously, 8 and 9 are often concurrent methods of dealing with the feeling of distraction. One feeds the other, and often both are necessary to get you back on task.
10. What I am describing is a cycle: you relax the flesh, where the old man is stored, so that the old man loses his grip on you...you raise up Christ within...you pray out what the spirit suggests...you drop down the old man some more...you raise up the new...you pray it out...you surrender yet more deeply...you reach yet deeper into the person of Christ in God in you...you pray out of that spirit...etc.
If you keep it up, you find yourself becoming a wordless prayer, a wordless communion with the loving Father, a single potent atom in the person and the body of Christ...aware of nothing but the bursting, boundless life and love of God made real in you, as you...and of yourself as being in that life and in that love...just one voice of the mighty choir...one breath of the great I Am...one flame within the great light...one bit of muscle and bone to accomplish the will of God as Christ the son. You will be nothing but an "Amen"...a great "Yes" to our Father God. You will feel ready to touch the world and make it new...ready to bear the pain of sin...to heal the hurt...to comfort the lost...to take it all and make it whole. You will know the deep sadness that there will be those who will not let you touch them. You will know the hope...the certainty...that in the end love will prevail! "Yes!" "Amen!" This is what it means to be alive! This is me! "Yes Father!" "Amen!"
This won't always happen. Many days you will come away with no more than a hint...an assurance that God is there and at work even in you. A "quiet understanding"...the peace of Christ! Some days you may never get the old man still enough to hear more than the "I love you, it's okay" of the Father. Some days you won't even hear that. But if you persist, you will get better at it...you will learn to put off the old man and put on the new pretty much at will...at least in the quiet times of your meditation. And that little taste of glory at the beginning of each day should, over time, strengthen the new man in you...it should make you better able to live out the life of Christ in you as you go through every day.
And of course, that is the whole purpose of the exercise.
During each time of meditation, you will reach a point when it is clear to you that it is time to be up and doing. I am not talking about the several times during meditation when you will feel like I've had enough of this or this isn't getting me anywhere... That's just the old man being obstructive. You will know when you are done when the it's time is part of the "Yes!"...a "yes, I am ready!" Or it will be part of the peace of Christ...or part of the "it's okay" of the Father...but above all, it won't be a doubt...it will be a certainty. Time to get on with it! When that assurance comes, take 3 or 4 more cleansing breaths...this time concentrating on the inhale rather than the exhale. You deflated yourself at the beginning... inflate yourself now. Hold the light behind your eyes, eyes still closed, but shift your attention to the room around you. Anticipate what you will see when you open your eyes and then, when you are ready, open them. On the best days, you will carry the "Yes!," the peace and the assurance into the day.
"I am the yes of Christ to the Father God.
I am the yes of Christ to love.
I am the yes of Christ to the world to make it both whole and holy.
I am the yes of Christ to life!"